The Fair Elaine's unrequited love of Lancelot bothered me a lot.
She tells him she's in love with him, asks him to marry her, then when he refuses and tries to buy her off with a very handsome sum and she refuses, saying she'll only ever love him or die, what does he do? He says, "Well, I've done all I could. It's not my fault you love me. Die if you wish, I can't do anything more for you."
Then when her father goes to Lancelot and talks about his daughter is prepared to die for her love of Lancelot, Lancelot's response is, "Look it's not my fault she loves me. I haven't encouraged her, this is all her own doing. It sucks for her." And not only is the father okay with this, but so are her brothers?! What is wrong with these people??!
And as to Lancelot's not encouraging her, isn't him taking a favour from her during the tourney kind of encouraging her? I mean, it's very possible that I've taken the wrong message from the Arthurian culture to which I've been subjected throughout my life, but I always assumed that accepting the favour was akin to saying, "I'm interested enough to carry this into (fake) battle", or, "I'm fighting this fight for you", which, in my mind, is encouragement.
So, no, Lancelot is not blameless in her death, and it is absolutely wrong for everyone to be okay with her giving up on life for love of Lancelot. And it felt to me very anti-chivalrous of Lancelot and Lavain to wash their hands of the matter, claim no fault and no care, and leave. I know Lancelot can do no wrong in many a person's eyes so it didn't surprise me when no one brought this up in class, but I had to get it off my chest.